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Why do troublesome work and life memories and challenges surface at any given moment of the day or night?
It is easy to ruminate and dwell on negative memories, fears, and disappointments.
Doing so doesn’t take much energy because we have more stored data, emotions, and memories in our minds about our past than we have about our future.
We can look back on and remember life experiences, sometimes vividly, but we can’t see or experience the future. If you are asked to envision your future, there’s a good chance brain fog blurs your thoughts and imagination of a future with work and life challenges resolved.
Why We Get Stressed
From experience, you know how easy it is to get stuck in a continuous doom-loop of ruminating and retelling, because this kind information is easily available for recall. Actually, each time you tell the story of your distress, you strengthen the neuronal pathways of this story in your brain. The more attention and energy you feed your troubles, the stronger they become.
Think of it this way: what you pay attention to and what you invest in, grows and strengthens.
Being in a negative state of mind for prolonged periods will express itself with feelings of defensiveness, shame, fear, anxiety, restlessness, hyperactive, anger, and interrupted sleep patterns.
All this clouds your vision of the bigger picture and leads you to develop a myopic view of the future. Hope is diminished and burnout exhausts the mind, body, and soul. Prolonged periods in this emotional and mental state activates the sympathetic nervous system with fight-flight-freeze responses. And there we are: stuck without a vision of a way forward.
This is a good time to ask for help. An intervention with the right person will guide you from distress towards a positive emotional state. In this state, your parasympathetic nervous system can bring balance and harmony back to your mind and body.
Initiate a Change: Write Specific Goals
When you’re about to make a big life transition or decision, it’s likely that stress is embedded in your need for positive change. The impulse to run from the stress—to get the hell outta there and run to what appears to be a better situation—is common, but you may find yourself in another messy situation, because stress is the driver rather than clear thinking.
Resist the impulse to run away. Slow down. Take your time.
Make a list of what you want to move from and what you want to move towards such as your values, your vision of the future, and your potential.
This simple exercise is a good step towards creating some structure for your goals and overall well-being.
Knowing what you want to work towards helps you envision the future. Knowing what you want to move from is equally important.
Be specific. For example:
I want to move from feeling bad about myself to feeling better about myself at a new job.
This is not specific.
Examples for writing specific goals:
I want to move from a role that doesn’t match my skill set to a role that needs and values my talents and skills.
I want to move from being isolated from others to a role with collaboration and teamwork.
I want to move from being misunderstood and passed over for promotions to an organization that understands my ability and process for solving complex problems.
I want to move from enormous stress and high expectations without support and guidance to a role that is challenging and supported with professional development.
I want to move from work that is focused on data and details to a role that utilizes my ability to envision the future.
What you want to move towards helps you to envision the future, along with specific goals and hopes for your personal and professional lives.
Knowing what you want to move from is equally important. It informs you of what to look for in job descriptions, company leadership, and workplace environments. These are indicators on whether a position is for you, or not
At this point, you are in the process of developing confidence and will be prepared to communicate your “value add” in a resume, cover letter, during an interview, and with new colleagues.
If you are feeling overwhelmed and anxious about your career and wondering how to make a change, you are not alone.
Anticipating a big life or career change is stressful. An experienced career professional will guide you towards confidence in who you are and help you create a narrative that communicates your talents and strengths. This narrative will guide you towards a career and job where you can grow into your potential and add value to your workplace.
Mary Rose Tichar is Founder and Director of InsideOut Career Direction.
She serves experienced professionals seeking to better integrate personal talents and strengths with their work or career.
Contact Mary Rose at 216.409.7875 or use this contact form.
